Looking back at this time when we first returned to Richmond, I must say that we had a rare opportunity to “reset” and take a different path with our family. We had just sold our house and were still in an apartment with minimal expenses. I was working a full-time job, but it was by no means what I would consider a “career” job. It was a job simply to make money. It would be a few more months before I secured a position that would put my career back on track. If I had this period to live over, I feel certain that I would re-think re-entering the career track that I had been on since leaving college
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. We were far enough into our lives with Ben that we knew no matter how much we tried to take his disabilities in stride, things could at times be very difficult. I regret not being there more for Ben in his early years and can’t help but think that he would have benefitted developmentally had I chosen to become a stay at home mom. However, the thought of doing this was foreign to me. I came of age in an era where a woman’s worth was measured by how well she juggled her many responsibilities at home while perfectly executing a successful career. I say this as someone who has the benefit of being able to look backward sixteen years. Making money and getting back into a house was forefront on our minds and, like everyone else, we had no idea what the future held for us. I still conveniently held the notion that the services Ben was receiving in his special education classes at school would help him to develop to a degree of self-sufficiency; just at a slower rate. I’m not saying that we let Ben down. He is the happiest person I know. What I’m saying is that I often wonder about how much further along he would be had he had the constant hand over hand training that only a parent can give. Who knows?
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