Regrets for a Path Not Taken


Looking back at this time when we first returned to Richmond, I must say that we had a rare opportunity to “reset” and take a different path with our family.  We had just sold our house and were still in an apartment with minimal expenses.  I was working a full-time job, but it was by no means what I would consider a “career” job.  It was a job simply to make money.  It would be a few more months before I secured a position that would put my career back on track.  If I had this period to live over, I feel certain that I would re-think re-entering the career track that I had been on since leaving college

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.  We were far enough into our lives with Ben that we knew no matter how much we tried to take his disabilities in stride, things could at times be very difficult.  I regret not being there more for Ben in his early years and can’t help but think that he would have benefitted developmentally had I chosen to become a stay at home mom.  However, the thought of doing this was foreign to me.  I came of age in an era where a woman’s worth was measured by how well she juggled her many responsibilities at home while perfectly executing a successful career.  I say this as someone who has the benefit of being able to look backward sixteen years.  Making money and getting back into a house was forefront on our minds and, like everyone else, we had no idea what the future held for us.  I still conveniently held the notion that the services Ben was receiving in his special education classes at school would help him to develop to a degree of self-sufficiency; just at a slower rate.  I’m not saying that we let Ben down.  He is the happiest person I know.  What I’m saying is that I often wonder about how much further along he would be had he had the constant hand over hand training that only a parent can give.  Who knows?

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Our Final Goodbye to Charleston


By February, I found full-time employment and as things thawed out a sense of normalcy returned to our lives.  When Dennis and I weren’t working we spent time driving around the county in search of our new home.  We soon found out that the district which we would ultimately choose would not make much of a difference.  Western Hanover did not have a large population and the multi-category special education programs were consolidated into just a few schools.  However, little did we know the decision we did finally make was a good one for another reason.  For years we had tried to give Ben a little brother or sister.  I had resigned myself to the fact that my crazy chromosomes were not going to allow me have another child.  As fate would have it, within a year I would find out that I was wrong.  The fact that we moved into a school district with the county’s very best elementary school did have an impact on our family’s future after all.

In April we received a call from our realtor in Charleston.  We finally had a contract on the house.  However, the buyers were very motivated to close as soon as possible.  Unfortunately, we had succumbed to financial pressure and a couple of months earlier had decided to rent the house.  The renters were not as motivated to move quickly.  There were several nasty conversations through our realtor with the renters which made an already difficult situation more stressful.  We still had a substantial amount of furniture in the house, so we had to coordinate getting the renters moved out, then getting us moved out, all so our closing date would conform with the buyers’ schedule.

Ben was such a little trooper during all of this.  The day we moved out was a very long one.  We found out shortly before we left for Charleston that the renters were still in the house and needed an extra day to get out.  It was too late to arrange an another place to stay that night so instead of spending the night our house, we had to stop off at my parents’ house in North Carolina.  The next morning we were forced to get up very early and when we arrived at the house, the renters were still there moving very slowly.  Because our closing was scheduled for early the next morning our only choice was to begin moving our belongings while they were still there.  As you can imagine it was quite uncomfortable.  We sat Ben down in front of a television in the living room and began to work.  Early that afternoon, I guess the stress and lack of sleep finally caught up with me.  Suddenly, I became very sick with severe flu-like symptoms and was down for the count.  Dennis had to call a friend to help him finish moving everything and they worked late into the night getting everything packed up.  The next day was one of happiness and relief, even though I was still very sick.  Once we finished closing we said our final goodbyes to some friends and set off for Richmond.  Dennis was driving the truck with all of our furniture and Ben and I were in our car packed to the hilt.  I ended up stopping at my parents’ house for a couple of days

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.  Mom and Dad loved having Ben to themselves while I recovered.

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The Winter of our (dis)content


The holidays were low-key.  We spent Thanksgiving with Dennis’ family, and Christmas in North Carolina at my parents’ house.  Our finances were a mess, so we kept things simple.  This period taught us a lot about the key to happiness.  It’s not material possessions, but the ability to be together.  The time we had spent apart both at the beginning and the end of our time in Charleston made us more appreciative of one another.  However…..with that said, the month of January did test that appreciation at least a little.

In January 1996 the east coast was hit with a series of storms that brought record amounts of snow.  In a typical winter Richmond will get a couple of storms which may each produce a few inches of snow.  On January 6th a storm which is still called the “Blizzard of 1996” came through and it snowed for the better part of three days.  When it was over there was over a foot of snow on the ground and we were literally stranded in our apartment.  One week later another substantial storm hit and dropped another ten to twelve inches.  The result; no school for most of the month of January.  Unfortunately, Ben has always disliked being out in extreme temperatures, hot or cold, and playing in the snow has never appealed to him.  So…he and I spent the entire month inside.  By the time February rolled around Ben and I were both suffering from severe cases of cabin fever

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After surviving the winter we decided that we needed to intensify our search for a house.  We wanted to be able to jump as soon as our house in Charleston sold.  Therefore, over next six months, when we weren’t working we were scouring Hanover County for property.

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Happy holidays

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Our Return To Richmond


My feelings at this point:  Conflicted.  It’s never easy to walk away from your dream job and that is what I had just done.  At the time it was scary, but looking back we certainly made the right decision.  I landed on my feet and Ben was introduced into a community of people who appeared to care about his well-being

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Our first few weeks in Richmond were quite difficult.  Dennis had been staying with some dear friends and when I arrived we were still several days from securing an apartment in the school district which we wanted Ben placed.  Our friends were kind enough to open their home to us during this time and while they were gracious hosts, I could not help but feel that we were imposing.  About ninety percent of our clothes were packed away in boxes, so during the day Ben and I made several trips to the local thrift shop to find enough clothing to wear.  I had much to do.  It was late October and I had to get Ben registered in school, find an appropriate and affordable after school daycare, and find a job.  While I was looking for a job the friend who had just hired Dennis once again came to our rescue.  He was in need of temporary accounting help and offered to let me work there until I found a permanent position elsewhere.  This was especially helpful due to the fact our house in Charleston took several months to sell, and paying for it and the apartment would have been a huge financial burden had I not been working.

Ben was placed in a kindergarten program at Henry Clay Elementary School in Ashland, Virginia.   His special education class consisted of just a few students, but they spent much of their time mainstreamed with one of the regular kindergarten classes; a setting that worked well despite the fact that in Charleston we were told this would have been impractical; even in a kindergarten setting.

Our search for an after school program took us to a wonderful little program that happened to be located just two blocks from Ben’s elementary school; at the Ashland Arts and Activities Center.  It was run by Lauren Thompson and Susan Tucker and had everything we were looking for; most importantly people who genuinely cared about our little boy.   We felt very lucky to find everything we needed within a few blocks in this quaint little town…that is with the exception of an apartment.  However, this problem was also eventually solved and by Thanksgiving we were settled in a small two bedroom apartment not far from Ashland.  This was quite an adjustment after spending almost five years in a house which was in excess of three thousand square feet.  Little did we know but our discomfort in the apartment would be magnified in the coming weeks…

 

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